How a stress audit may help you get pregnant

— Our physiology is virtually identical to that of our cave-dwelling ancestors. This means we are physiologically programmed to reproduce, but our physiology changes when our body perceives there to be too much danger. The equivalent of the wolf at the cave door is now the relentlessness of modern living. And when we feel overwhelmed by daily living, we numb ourselves with sugar, alcohol, and over-scrolling and the last thing we have the energy for is sex.

Humans are brilliantly adapted to handling short-term stress. But chronic stress is an issue, and the effects of stress can make your body think a pregnancy would make it hard to cope, yet it can feel like pregnancy is the one answer to all of your problems.

Getting real about the stress in your life

I think the word ‘stress’ needs rebranding - when I ask my fertility acupuncture clients if they are stressed they often shake their heads, but once I ask about any childhood stress or trauma, their relationship with their partner, parents, or boss, their job satisfaction or lack of community then we uncover where she may be feeling overwhelmed or undernourished. By looking at each area of your life you can focus on where you need to make changes so that your body feels like it has the resources to bring a vulnerable little life into the cave

Stating the obvious and less obvious

I’m going to presume that we all know that smoking, vaping, taking drugs and drinking, over-exercising, under-sleeping, and overworking are all significant stressors. And that we all know that our nutritional status is one of the pillars of health, but you can also look at when and how you are eating. Diversity of whole foods is key, but it is also important that you are enjoying your food, sitting down to eat mindfully, and having your last meal a few hours before bedtime.

Circadian rhythms

We also all know that sleep should be a priority as this has a knock-on effect on all of our other systems. Exposing yourself to natural sunlight first thing in the morning will cause a cascade of hormones that will help you sleep well that night. And no scrolling an hour before bedtime so that your brain doesn’t get confused with the blue light from your phone and think that it’s time to be awake.

Cycle tracking

A less obvious cause of stress for women is living out of sync with their menstrual cycle. Unlike men, women’s hormones have a monthly ebb and flow. This means that during some parts of the month, you will have abundant energy to be a wonder woman, and at other times you will want to run away and live in the woods just for the chance of 5 minutes of peace. Modern women are living in a linear world with cyclical hormones. Operating at 100 miles an hour 100% of the time is the fasted route to unbalanced hormones and burnout. Connecting with your whole cycle throughout the month will take the pressure away from ovulation and onto the whole cycle as a means to self-care.

People pleasing

Women in particular are raised to be of service to others. Chronically pleasing others is exhausting and leads to losing yourself. After years of saying yes when you mean no you may find that you don’t even know what it is that you need. Taking a pause before committing to someone else’s requests will give you the chance to check in with yourself to see if you have the energy for this right now. Practice saying “I’ll get back to you”, or “I can’t do that right now”. You may feel like you won’t be useful, you won’t be liked or the world will end if you say no to someone, but believe me, it will be one of the best words you can use for your overall health right now, and as a new parent in the future.

What is the good news?

If chronic stress puts your nervous system on edge, disrupts your hormones, impacts your immunity, promotes inflammation, inhibits ovulation and sperm production, and generally undermines your physical and mental well-being then where is the good news?

The good news is that the egg and sperm also respond to a healthy environment, and you are in control of what you put in your body, how you spend your time, where you put your energy, and how you respond to the inevitable stress of daily life. You can retrain your body to let it know it is not in immediate danger. A quick Google search will give you lots of tips about things like breathwork, supplements, fasting, and cold-water immersion, but the most important thing to know is that you already have all the answers you need in your heart. No Google search will tell you about you, but sometimes simply switching off the noise (and definitely switching off the news!) will enable you to connect with that part of you that knows exactly how to support your nervous system so that it feels safe to bring a little life into your cave. Or, you can book an appointment for some acupuncture or somato emotional release and I will help you with your own stress audit and empower you to free up resources for the 9 months of pregnancy, 3 months of the fourth trimester, and years of the post-natal period.